As usual, the Fabregas-to-Barcelona rumours are starting to erupt from nowhere again as the season comes to a close. Last year saw most Arsenal fans worried about the possibility of their talisman, Cesc Fabregas leaving for greener pasture. A conversation took place between him and Wenger in what was, for Cesc, the best he’s ever had in his life. Arsene persuaded him to stay for at least another summer. Here’s something similar that’d happen again this summer…
Cesc(enters): Arsene, did you call me?
AW: Yes of course.There are rumours suggesting that you’ve already agreed a personal deal with Barca.
Cesc: Yes I have.
Cesc: Pique texted that he wanted a rematch of the Skipping competition we two used to have in our childhoods.
Cesc: C’mon boss, that was one competition I used to win. Here at Arsenal, no one plays that game and we also don’t win any trophies.
AW(angrily):What are you talking about? I hold the Emirates Cup every year for the same sake.
Cesc: But there are no quality players here…
AW:Wait a minute, you forgot Deni. And Bendtner.And your countryman Almunia.
Cesc: I can’t stand this much competition for places.How can I replace Denilson or Diaby?
AW: The truth is, you really can’t. Have a ever seen Deni’s 2 yard screamer. You and Xavi can only dream of such a goal.
Cesc: Yes it’s true!Whenever I try that, it goes straight into the keeper’s hands. Kudos to Deni!
AW:At Barca, you won’t get as good a player as him. So why do you wanna go?
Cesc:Puyol wants the Barca shirt he put on me back.
AW:By the way, you looked good in that one.
Cesc:I sure did.
Cesc:I even looked at our new away kit. Good enough reason to leave huh?
AW:Yeah at least I don’t have to wear it. Any other reason?
Cesc:At least Barca’s rivals don’t do better than ours. Tottenham beat us at home and even did better in the Champions League.
AW:I’m sorry about that.But what can you do about a team comprising of apes?
Cesc: Also I think other Arsenal players abuse me in French.
AW(shocked):You haven’t learned French yet???
Cesc:We are an English team so why should I?
AW:Oh Cesc! You can counter-abuse them in Spanish.
Cesc: Almunia translates it when I do so.
AW(fuming):That Spanish traitor.
Cesc:What about the hair-cuts of some players…
Cesc:Song, Sagna ,Chamakh…
AW:What about Puyol’s?
Cesc:Oh about that! I had a fight with him when I was 6 and his hair never recovered from it.
AW:What if you leave and Puyol does the same to you.
Cesc:I didn’t think about that.I also broke Iniesta’s G.I.Joe.Even stole Messi’s Barney.Now I understand why Barca players wanted me to sign for them.
It’s a conspiracy.They want everything back.I love my hair.I still play with Barney.I’m staying at Arsenal.I’m staying.
AW:I knew you would.
Cesc:But what about trophies?
AW:The Emirates Cup has even worse teams this year.
Cesc:Yesssss!This was the best conversation of my life Arsene.You acted like a father-figure and saved me from that devil team.
Cesc:Thank you Arsene. I love you.
AW:It’s my pleasure.
Cesc leaves happily…
AW(to himself):Poor boy! Told him the same thing last year and he stayed. Nasri was right.Cesc has a poor poor memory.
And that’s how Cesc will again stay at Arsenal this year.
*This post is completely meant for fun and should not at all be taken seriously.*